E-Eating

I like to eat.  Eating is more than the food=fuel equation.  I really love having family brunches where everyone is enjoying food.
I am working on eating more mindfully, and I'm going to have to cut some stuff that I really love out of my diet, at least temporarily, if I want to achieve my weight loss goals.  That is not easy for me, and right now I'm kind of in a funk and that makes it even harder.  However, I know that I need to go lower carb in order to lose weight with my PCOS.
I also want to cut more sugar out of my diet because I know I can make do with less.  I'm working on eating less processed food.
Having a Trader Joe's in town now makes all of this easier because I can get less expensive interesting produce, as well as other things that fit in with my healthier eating plan.
It's a challenge to implement things when my energy level is low, like it is now, because the quick fix is always the best.  Also I don't like washing dishes and preparing food of course uses up pots and pans.
I'm going to get over it though.  I know that I'd feel better if I'd eat better, and now that my back is getting better I can get past my washing dishes dislike and figure out what to fix.

Now I'm going to recommend a film: Tampopo.  I haven't seen it in years but it's a good food movie.  I also recommend Kings of Pastry, but that is not really about eating.  Tampopo is all about enjoying food, as I recall.  I know there is some eroticism of food, and also noodles, I think.  But not erotic noodles.

D-Depression

I suffer from depression.  It is more or less under control, I think, but sometimes I wonder if that is why my house is such a mess and why I have little motivation.  In high school it was the worst, and then I've had a couple of bouts of situational depression.  Nothing post-partum, though.
I know that exercise helps make me feel better, and lack of money makes me feel worse.  I kind of feel like I get into a rut and I am not sure how to get out of it, not necessarily relating to my depression but to life in general.
I feel like I should know steps to take to improve my situation, since I have gone through cognitive-behavioral therapy, but it is very easy for me to backslide.
However, I'm working on things.  I don't feel like life is awful.  I don't have trouble enjoying things daily.  I can tell what things are irritants to me (like Facebook!) and I try to focus on good things.
I think it works better for me if I make lists so I can check off what I've done.
I do try to keep an eye out for symptoms of depression in myself, but I sometimes wonder if I'm so far into it that I can't see it.  Right now I am not feeling so great about myself but I am being kind to myself and I don't think everything sucks.
I used to be the gloomy Eeyore person in my family but now I have to be the positive person because my husband wins at being Eeyore and both of us can't be dismal doom and gloomers.

C-Cooking

I really like cooking.  I think I'm a pretty good cook, even though I don't get a lot of positive reinforcement from my kids or husband.  It is sometimes hard cooking for one, since then you're stuck with a bunch of leftovers.  Sometimes that is okay, but my freezer is filling up with things that I got tired of eating.
I have a few recipes that I can throw together at the last minute, or that I consider my signature dishes.
These include ratatouille, quiche, artichoke dip, and baked ziti.  My sister also says I make the best mashed potatoes and scrambled eggs (two separate dishes).
I've been enjoying expanding my repertoire lately since I've been getting co-op veggies and I've had to hunt around for ways to use up the things that come through.  Some of them are things I'm not really all that enthusiastic about, but I've been pretty impressed with the recipes I've found for some of them.
I also like baking, which I tend to throw in with cooking even though they're not really the same thing.

I don't tend to worry about fat content in my food.  I'm more concerned with carbs and sugar.  However, I don't talk a lot about food with people because I don't really care what people choose for eating plans.  Whatever works is fine with me.  When people come over for dinner (which isn't all that often), I definitely take their dietary needs into consideration.

I'm spending a lot of time these days cooking baby food.  My ten month old is underweight so I'm working on fixing him calorie-laden dishes.  He really likes sweet potatoes so I've been roasting those and mashing them with butter and cream, and then I've been making him coconut milk and cream custard.  He doesn't like that so much on its own but he gobbles it up when it has sweet potatoes in it.  He also is very fond of a cream of spinach soup that I made.  It is kind of like spinach dip in soup form.

Sometimes I wish that I could view food more like fuel, but it's much more than that to me.

B-Boot Camp

I am a lifetime member of the NEWO Boot Camp, and I love it.  I started in Boot Camp 11, as part of a Pay-It-Forward thing that they do each time (although I think that was the first time they offered it).  Anyway, a few weeks in they offered a lifetime membership, and my mom got it for me for Christmas.
I have not really lost any weight (I've actually gained some weight), but I know it is making a difference in my life.  I've been in a bit of a slump, and this back stuff isn't helping, but I am actually missing being able to work out.  And it's been helping me immensely with my energy levels, and also with my perfectionism.  I am an instant gratification type of girl.  And I also am inclined to let my negative voice take control and entice me into acts of self sabotage, and Boot Camp is really helping me to fight against that.  I really want to work the system a bit better than I have been, but I'm working on improving a little bit at a time, and right now is the time to focus on healing and not on pushing myself into more injury.

A-Acupuncture

I have a lot of "A"s I could write about: acceptance, attitude, and I'm sure I could think of others.
I think I will write about acupuncture instead.  I was not so sure about acupuncture when I first heard of it, but I became more open to the idea as I learned more about alternative medicine.
I started getting acupuncture treatments when I was trying to conceive in 2011.  I had been reading a good book about fertility called Making Babies, and the authors recommended a variety of supplements, and also acupuncture.
I was also on Clomid at the time but it wasn't until my prescription for that ran out that I got my positive sign.  Now I have a healthy 10 month old, and I think that acupuncture played a big part in that.
Anyway, I'm on the acupuncture kick at the moment because my back went into spasm on Thursday night and I went in for an emergency treatment on Saturday morning.  I have two more treatments to go to help with this back pain, but I'm amazed at the results so far.  Right now I'm a little sore, but ever since my treatment I've been able to walk around with little pain, and starting yesterday I was able to pick the baby up and carry him around the house.  Some things I do are still uncomfortable, but I am really surprised at how quickly things seem to be clearing up.  I haven't had a spasm like this since college, and I know that time it took a pretty long time for me to feel better.
So, acupuncture is something that I am passionate about now.  I will be using acupuncture again when we try for our third baby, which will be later this year.  Right now I can't really afford the time or money to go every week, but that is one of my goals.

Beginner's Mind

I woke up this morning and felt like it was time for a change.  I've not been feeling good about myself lately.  And I've been putting on weight, not taking my eating seriously, nor my workouts.
Anyway, today is a new day!  And I'm going to look at it from the aspect of a beginner's mind.

I have been doing the Oprah and Chopra 21 day meditation challenge, although I'm behind on that.  I'm okay with being behind.

I also got back into my working out and it was great!  I did the workout live and that was a lot of fun.  I'm not sure that I think the energy was very different but I'm really glad I did it.  I was thinking about taking a nap instead but I don't need a nap now!

Nick is not gaining enough weight but we'll find out tomorrow if he's just got a high metabolism or if it's something else.

I am still not doing well with my money but I will get better.  I'm going to stop talking and thinking about it and actually just start doing!  It's time to take some action and I feel good right now so it's time.

I have lots to keep me busy for the next few days because we're going out of town on Saturday and will be gone until Wednesday.  It will be a fun trip, but I want the house to be in better shape before we leave.  And I have lots of food to use up or figure out what to do with.

I'm feeling very anxious about my money situation.  I have to get it together.  I am tired of feeling like this all the time, and I know it's interfering with my life in all aspects.

I intend to post in here more frequently.  I'm satisfied with what I'm accomplishing for the most part.  I wish I weren't so concerned about money.  I know that my stressing about it is hindering me in my quest for making it.  I am going to start writing down some specific things that I can do to earn money and more specific monetary goals so that I can use my subconscious to help me get there faster.

I really do intend to become financially independent this year.  I know there are certain things that I can do to get there, and I'm going to start doing them.  I am tired of causing stress on other people because of my own lack of money.  And I'm tired of my relationship with money.  I am going to do better than this.  I am better than this.

Other than money, I am feeling good about myself.  I have been practicing mindfulness every day.  I got Nick to gain over 1.5 pounds just through nursing and a bottle of pear juice every day, so that makes me know that I don't need to doubt my milk supply.

I did not let my headache yesterday, which kept me from working out, become a reason to quit working out for the rest of the week, or forever.  I have been doing great with exercising, even if I haven't lost any weight.

I've also been doing pretty well with drinking water and many other things.  I'm excited about what this year has to offer and I'm getting a lot done.  If I can get this much done on this little amount of sleep, I'm excited to see what I will be able to get done once I'm not sleep deprived!