Oh dear, I suppose I am judging myself now to say that I have been kind of judgy today. It is all petty Facebook high-school type stuff. I haven't been overly hard on myself, just not particularly accepting of other people. However, I don't know if I'd really say it's judging in the mindfulness sense. Also, I know I'm not perfect and sometimes I do have trouble letting go of things. Also I'm experiencing some trust issues with the people involved in this. I know I sound very cryptic but I don't really think I want this blog to be a place where I talk about this kind of stuff.
I am trying to figure out what some advice I was given means. It was from a spiritual advisor type, and it made sense in a way but I don't really know how to process the information. It was indicating that some of the kinks in my road to success have to do with anger, but it doesn't really look like anger from the outside. I do kind of feel angry, and I don't know if it's an entitled kind of angry, or justified anger. And am I angry at myself or at others? Is it an impotent anger, or anger that can kindle productivity? I hope the latter. I do feel like I'm becoming more productive, but I am still not feeling completely settled within myself. I kind of feel tied up in knots and I don't really think that is super helpful.
Good things for today: I lost another half pound, which puts my total at 3 pounds since I started being conscious about wanting to get in better shape and doing yoga. I put a bookcase together for the nursery, and did laundry. I laughed pretty much, and had lunch with my mom and sister.
Okay, I am incredibly thirsty so I think it's time to get some water. I'm also going to do my yoga and then go to bed. Nick is asleep in his crib, after fighting sleep for a long time. I guess that shows that babies aren't really very mindful, since Nick just refuses to let go and go to sleep!
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